Second Marriage? Estate Planning Mistakes That Can Tear Families Apart

Blended families make up a large part of society. The US Census Bureau estimates that over 1 in 5 children live in a blended home. Blended families can mean more love. But if you don’t plan well, it can mean more room for conflict.

This article will cover common mistakes to avoid and will help you navigate estate planning in your second marriage and blended family.

Second Marriage Estate Planning Issues

If your first marriage ended without any children involved, it’s very easy to move forward with estate planning with a spouse with whom you will parent children. But when your first marriage involves children, your second spouse brings children into the new marriage, and then you have a child together, it can feel big and confusing. How do you make sure everything is right and good and fair? How do you put a plan in place that properly provides for your children— whether they are minors or adults?

It’s important to create a plan that truly outlines your wishes clearly and to get it on paper, valid, and legal. When your plan is valid and legal, there are recourse that can be taken by your loved ones to ensure your wishes are followed. But when your wishes are not clearly stated in a valid and legal estate plan, the court must follow the rules of the state, which can often be at odds with your wishes.

Common Mistakes

Here are several common mistakes we see in estate plans for blended families.

Mistake #1 – assuming their spouse knows and will honor their wishes

If your estate plan is not clear, valid, or legal, you are leaving a lot up to chance. And you are expecting the courts and your spouse to execute wishes that you never made clear. Even if you talked about it and trust your spouse to do a certain thing, they may not. This may be due to grief or forgetfulness, and not malice. But still. In estate planning, we never assume.

Mistake #2 – not considering all of your potential beneficiaries

Did you know that the state of Georgia doesn’t recognize stepchildren as legal heirs? So even if you raise a child from a year old until adulthood, if you don’t legally adopt that child, they are not a legal heir. So, if you want to provide for a stepchild. They need to be a named beneficiary

Mistake #3 – leaving your children vulnerable

Without proper planning, your kids’ guardianship and inheritance may be left to the courts to decide. It’s important to have a plan in place for the “what ifs.” What if your child’s other parent is already deceased at your death? Or what if they are in jail or a coma? Who gets your kids then? Who manages their inheritances?

Mistake #4 – unclear or outdated beneficiary designations

Did you know that a beneficiary designation circumvents a Will or Trust? Many people fail to update their beneficiary designations after a divorce, which means if your ex is still listed as your beneficiary, they will receive the assets after your death. So, be clear about these designations. Make sure they are accurate and clear.

Mistake #5 – thinking that it’ll all sort itself out in probate

Probate is a long and drawn-out process. And every state has its rules and laws about how estates are processed. Assuming that probate has your back and will do right by your loved ones is not wise. Because the laws are designed to protect your children, but sometimes those laws actually fail them. Don’t assume the judge will do the right thing. The judge must follow the law and regulations— even if they don’t serve your family best.

How Do You Protect Your Family?

So, now that you know what can go wrong, let’s talk about how we can avoid these mistakes.

Talk to a Pro

Your situation, a blended family, is not an anomaly in today’s day and age. So, it’s not entirely unique. But every blended family operates differently, has different things that make it special and beautiful, and has its own set of challenges. That’s why it is important to have a plan customized to your needs. And DIYing something this important is dangerous. That’s why we always recommend that blended families use a skilled estate planning attorney to help them formulate a plan that protects everyone and leaves no one vulnerable.

You may think that working with an attorney will make things more stressful and complicated, but when you partner with us, our job is to simplify this process for you. We ask questions that help you finalize your wishes and plans— then we make those wishes and plans valid, legal realities.

Trust vs. Will

People ask us all the time whether they should have a Trust or a Will. The truth is, you really need both. This is because your Will is the only document that allows you to name a guardian for your minor children. So, use the Will to name your guardians.

Using a Trust to handle your assets is best. Trusts are better than Wills at assigning assets to designated beneficiaries and protecting minor children. This is because a Trust avoids probate and allows for distributions without court oversight. Also, you can leave specific rules for how and when assets are distributed. Clarity can help prevent resentment and conflict.

Review and Make Updates

Things change. Your plan needs to change, too. If a key person in your plan moves away— physically or emotionally— it may be best to reevaluate their role. If a child develops obsessive or addictive behaviors, it may not be best to allow them to receive a large sum of money all at once. Perhaps the guardian you named for a minor child receives a cancer diagnosis. They won’t have the capacity to raise your children if you die. As things change, it is important to update your plan. And you can! Making changes isn’t an act of Congress. Most of the time, all it takes is a simple phone call, and one meeting to sign the updated documents.

FAQs

I’m confused. How do I create an estate plan for my blended family?

Call me! It’s my job to help families of all shapes and sizes curate a plan that serves them well and takes care of every loved one.

What about a prenup?

Prenups are great tools that can help create clear boundary lines. If you have one, your estate planning should work with it.

I just began my second marriage. What should I do first when it comes to estate planning?

Call me! But make sure your beneficiary designations aren’t going to your ex— unless you want them to.

How do I protect my children from my ex?

You can create a plan that completely excludes your ex. You can create a trust that provides an inheritance to your children, and you can name a trustee who is not ex. But you may want to talk through your options with a pro who has seen lots of sticky family situations before you make these big decisions.

How do you divide assets in a second marriage?

Every family is unique. So the division of assets should be unique. Let’s talk about how you should divide your assets in your second marriage!

Call us at (404) 736-6066 or visit our website to schedule a consultation about how we can help you create an estate plan for your blended family.