How to Ask Someone to be Your Power of Attorney
A Power of Attorney is a very important part of your estate plan. This person can make financial or business decisions on your behalf while you are unable to. They can continue to pay your mortgage and the landscapers if you’re incapacitated. They can ensure that your life and home are not in shambles whenever you’re able to return to it.
Likewise, a power of attorney for medical care and decisions is equally important. Having an agent in place who will act on your wishes if you are unable to do so yourself can bring peace of mind to all involved.
But what do you do if you don’t have someone who is an automatic selection for either of these roles? Perhaps you’re single and you don’t have kids, or you are estranged from them. Who do you name as your power of attorney and how do you ask them?
Professional POAs
The first thing you need to know is that there are professional services you can name and hire to act in the roles for you. You can provide them with your wishes and they will carry them out, per your instructions.
This is an excellent option for many people. Even those who do have close family members may prefer a professional to act on their behalf— especially if there are any concerns about financial responsibility.
Keep in mind, that these professional agencies do charge fees for their services. But because you are paying a fee, you can trust that your wishes will be honored and followed.
Close Friend
Another option is to ask a close friend to serve in this role. Many people have friends who serve as their power of attorney and healthcare agents.
Often, our friends get us better than our family does. Because we choose our friends we often choose to spend time with people of similar values and opinions. This may make choosing a friend the easy option.
Close Friend w/ Professional
You may choose to name a friend as your primary selection with a professional as your backup. This happens a lot and can be a wonderful solution for many people.
Similarly, you may choose to name a friend and a professional to serve jointly. Make sure you have a very candid conversation with the professional agency before you do this, though. They may have policies about how many cooks they allow in the kitchen.
Clear Communication is Key
That brings us to the most important piece of this puzzle. Clear communication.
No matter what you do you need to have very clear communication with all parties.
If you’re asking a friend, you need to make the ask and give them space and time to process and give you a real answer. Because the worst thing that could happen is that you name someone who said they would, but what they meant was they won’t. You don’t need to be in a medical emergency and not have someone to advocate on your behalf. Make the ask and give them time to respond. They may need a month to decide and that is okay. Because you want the real answer. Not the one they think will make you happy.
Additionally, it’s important to have really candid conversations with your power of attorney and healthcare agents about your wishes. They need to know exactly what you want and what you don’t want. That way they can do their best to make sure your wishes are met. The documents themselves will offer good guidance, but it will bring even more peace of mind for you to have these conversations with them before they need to act on your behalf.
It’s good to note that you can offer payment to whomever you choose to serve. If they are concerned that they may miss work and acting on your behalf will financially strap them, provisions can be put into the document to allow them to receive payment from you to act in this way.
How to Have the Conversation
You may be sitting here thinking “All of this information is great, but how do I have the conversation?” That is a great question.
First, the forum doesn’t necessarily matter. A face-to-face conversation is great. But make sure they know you don’t expect them to answer today or even this week. It’s really important to remove as much pressure as possible from the situation so they feel safe and free to give you their true answer.
Some people prefer to start the conversation via text or email. These are good options too. Because the person you are asking doesn’t have to make their face do the right thing because you’re not in front of them. They may also feel more free to offer the true answer via text.
If you prefer to go the professional route, we have a list of local professionals and can refer you to the ones we think will best suit your needs. Working with a skilled team of estate planning professionals is a great way to get the ball rolling on tricky matters such as these.
The goal is to find someone who will advocate for you in alignment with your wishes. Sometimes that is a close friend, and sometimes it’s not. But don’t worry if someone says no. Hope is not lost. There are more options available to you.
Call us at (404) 736-6066 or visit our website to schedule a consultation.
